Life is funny

The way life goes is kind of funny. Since the beginning of this year, nothing has gone too good for me. I do not understand where this is all coming from! Was I that bad of a child or did I do something so bad that God had to get me back in every way possible. This just doesn’t make sense to me. It is the beginning of the year 2009 and I can truly say that since the very second of the beginning of the year nothing has gone right. I just wish that things could go good for me. Right now I feel as if things are going wrong because I don’t have God in my life anymore. My father is a preacher and his father is a preacher and many of my uncles are pastors and ministers in the church. I was basically raised in the church very religiously with very strict rules and guidelines to live by. In the past couple of years I have almost shut god totally out of my life and that’s when things started going wrong. My schooling started getting messed up, I was never stable. I was always upset or borderline depressed. I couldn’t think straight. I started doing things I never thought id do in my life. I couldn’t go to work without getting stressed out. All the college work I did didn’t matter because my credits didn’t transfer so I did a semester for no reason. I went to basic training. The hell of my life just to go to tech school and get targeted by a racist Bogart and get kicked out for chewing gum in class. I didn’t think I deserved what was going on but things never got better. I kept god out of my life and things continued to get worse. Now I'm starting to understand that I can’t do anything without him. He is my rock, my soul, my salvation and things will only get better if I continue to live by his will. I can no longer do things my way; I need to do things his way. My life will succeed once I start doing what I’m supposed to do and live by his word. I wonder what will happen next.